clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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