Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?

  (619): View more from California

  hahahahahahahahahahaha

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  (949): Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth? (619): hahahahahahahahahahaha http://tfl.nu/hwol
  Replies (45) Good night (3204) Bad night (925)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.

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  (936): My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today. http://tfl.nu/sil6
  Replies (10) Good night (10674) Bad night (570) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.

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  (562): Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty. http://tfl.nu/kgia
  Replies (34) Good night (11615) Bad night (1307) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.

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  (360): I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier. http://tfl.nu/3der
  Replies (30) Good night (4531) Bad night (1564) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own

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  (519): i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own http://tfl.nu/ot8v
  Replies (27) Good night (8492) Bad night (1002)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth

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  (405): I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth http://tfl.nu/n9x2
  Replies (9) Good night (760) Bad night (3699) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.

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  (604): Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him. http://tfl.nu/v9q2
  Replies (16) Good night (4068) Bad night (942) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.

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  (850): I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain. http://tfl.nu/8aml
  Replies (12) Good night (5550) Bad night (1022) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.

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  (317): Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor. http://tfl.nu/i4di
  Replies (15) Good night (902) Bad night (2869) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.

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  (919): Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride. http://tfl.nu/6akp
  Replies (4) Good night (6607) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever

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  (205): btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever http://tfl.nu/nic9
  Replies (11) Good night (2288) Bad night (1616) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great

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  (210): If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great http://tfl.nu/uyht
  Replies (10) Good night (2753) Bad night (1624) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.

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  (517): After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders. http://tfl.nu/u1xt
  Replies (19) Good night (2909) Bad night (687)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.

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  (843): Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco. http://tfl.nu/7zc7
  Replies (6) Good night (965) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.

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  (505): Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels. http://tfl.nu/3182
  Replies (3) Good night (180) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt

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