You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We don't watch enough power rangers
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize