fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
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The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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