3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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