so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
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He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
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I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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