And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
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He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
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i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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