that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
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I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
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I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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