I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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