Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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