HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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