where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
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i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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