she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize