so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize