Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work. http://tfl.nu/jzpk
  Replies (31) Good night (3517) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now. http://tfl.nu/ongm
  Replies (166) Good night (1101) Bad night (8308) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT. http://tfl.nu/lt7f
  Replies (27) Good night (1023) Bad night (6052)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running. http://tfl.nu/jcc8
  Replies (76) Good night (16208) Bad night (1839)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper. http://tfl.nu/r5h8
  Replies (11) Good night (2970) Bad night (1690) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper http://tfl.nu/pzfa
  Replies (21) Good night (4536) Bad night (1283)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was. http://tfl.nu/n6wn
  Replies (3) Good night (2218) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+31): Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes http://tfl.nu/ymlt
  Replies (6) Good night (830) Bad night (3513) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too http://tfl.nu/q1xa
  Replies (4) Good night (1216) Bad night (1634) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha http://tfl.nu/j31u
  Replies (7) Good night (2405) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard? http://tfl.nu/j2bg
  Replies (16) Good night (700) Bad night (1102) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?

  (810): View more from Michigan

  shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone? (810): shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you http://tfl.nu/u0b0
  Replies (13) Good night (2244) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn". http://tfl.nu/2c8a
  Replies (6) Good night (2102) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is. http://tfl.nu/4j3n
  Replies (5) Good night (2085) Bad night (281) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you. http://tfl.nu/h5o1
  Replies (12) Good night (988) Bad night (796)

Randomize