Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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