i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize