He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
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He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
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I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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