We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
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You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
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Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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