____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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