I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize