Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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