We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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