you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize