I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
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He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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