he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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