i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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