About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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