Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
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