Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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