my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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