all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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