birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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