My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
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We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize