maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize