i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
false alarm. still invincible.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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