Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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