That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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