i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize