do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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