I want to walk on stilts...naked
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
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