I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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