I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize