Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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