I think I died a long time ago.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize