The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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