He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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