So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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