This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize