I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize