So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize